Breaking: LeBron James Excluded from US Team, “You’re Woke”

In a shocking turn of events, LeBron James has been unceremoniously kicked off the US Team, not for any lack of skill on the court but for allegedly being “too woke.” The decision, announced by an anonymous source who may or may not have been a disgruntled referee, has sent shockwaves through the sports world.

It seems that LeBron’s outspoken nature on social and political issues may have finally caught up with him. The US Team, apparently in desperate need of athletes who stick to sports clichés and avoid rocking the boat, has deemed LeBron’s advocacy as incompatible with the patriotic image they want to project.

In an exclusive interview with a non-existent reporter, the anonymous source stated, “We just can’t have someone questioning the status quo and using their platform to address societal issues. It’s much more convenient to have athletes who dribble the ball and keep their opinions to themselves.”

LeBron’s expulsion from the team has sparked a lively debate on whether athletes should be allowed to express their views beyond the court. Some argue that sports and politics should be kept separate, conveniently forgetting the long history of athletes using their platforms to bring attention to important issues. Others believe that LeBron’s removal is an infringement on free speech, questioning whether the US Team is truly representative of diverse perspectives.

In a sarcastic twist, critics of LeBron’s activism are now hailing this decision as a victory for “freedom from woke-ness.” One Twitter user wrote, “Finally, we can enjoy sports without being subjected to players’ opinions on things like social justice. Thank you, US Team, for preserving the sanctity of the game!”

LeBron James, however, remains undeterred. In a response posted on his social media, he wrote, “Apparently, dribbling a basketball is acceptable, but speaking up for justice is not. I’ll continue to use my voice to advocate for what I believe in, even if it means not making the cut for a team that prefers silence over change.”

The NBA, caught in the crossfire, released a statement supporting players’ rights to express themselves. “While we respect the decisions made by the US Team, we also believe in the importance of athletes using their platforms to address social issues. It’s a delicate balance, but we encourage players to speak out and make a positive impact on society.”

In an ironic twist, some fans are now calling for the US Team to replace LeBron with a cardboard cutout of a generic basketball player – someone who, they argue, would be less likely to cause controversy. The cutout, they believe, would provide a silent and politically neutral representation of American sports prowess.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear – LeBron James may be off the US Team, but his commitment to social justice remains unwavering. Only time will tell if other athletes will follow his lead or choose to play it safe in the increasingly polarized world of sports and politics.

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